goodnight

.....there goes everything i had.....
now, im facing everything im about to have.

slippers in the sand

i always thought i leave a mark
my sign
my very own
my identity
a part of me
something i share
and every little thing i give
in the past few days
i realized you cant always leave a part of you
not behind
not even a memory to someone
because that'll just make things worst
i enjoyed your company too much
i forgot how it is to be alone
i enjoyed every passing time
that all i do is relive them
we shared some dreams
and killed some hopes
but those time spent with you
were unforgettable and regret-free
im trying, i'm trying real hard
and i know i wont make it
so instead
i'll just have to accept
i leave a big chunk of me
i'll leave it behind
i'll let the busy crowd
or the water in the shore
just take it away
just so you know
i was there
just so you know
we were there.
together
and forever
is not gone.

everyday, i wake up
i dry up last night's tears
and smile
who am i kidding
i can't hide to myself
that it is and was a sad episode of my life
but....
i am me
and i'm living up for another better day

i have seen better days

what now?

where do i go
where do i start
i dont know
well maybe you can help
so what now??

i lost site of everything
well not really everything
but close to it
in fact almost anything

it is pretty hard to actually change
change from someone you've become for someone
to someone you need to be for yourself
it is...hard

i know how to love
i do
just that....
i procrastinated, then it failed.

bleh

suffering
from
severe
lack
of
gag
reflex


doesn't
give
a
fuck

stone cold

i heard some scratches on the wall
fading little
by little...
i put my ear closer to the distinct source
and i closed my eyes.....

i remember this sound
i felt something like this before
when i looked into his eyes
i was scared
confused....

that night i looked into his eyes
was the night i felt apathy inside of me
i felt anger
prejudice, fear, hate,sadness,
but most of all, i was lost...

that night i lost my little spark
i could'nt find a reason
could'nt find a cause
you turned your back
and walked away...

i could'nt sleep
tears keep falling
what was it you made me feel
it feels.......

touch

i wanna feel your touch
i wanna feel your warmth around me
hold me tight
hold me close
want me near
tell me you need me

i am but whoring for your attention
where have you been
all my life
where have you been

i wanna be close to you
holding you
hugging you
looking at you
i wanna be with you

and when you say you love me
and when you say you care
the more i wish i was close to you
the more i wish i was there

and when you look me in the eye
and when you say those words
i wanna listen to all you have to say
what you have to say to me everyday

the more we talk
the more i get to know you
i get closer
and closer, yet so far away.

stow away

i wanna run away to a place
a place where i decided to put my heart
a place where i'd actually live
close to you, i'd run away from here.

white wash

ink blot
another page has turned,
another chapter that's starting,
and another life to live.

i throw the piece of paper because the ink blot
its messy its dirty
but that piece of paper holds so much that i had to keep it away
for some reason of looking back into details

a piece of scrap paper means a lot
it's the start of everything wonderful
and yet the product of a chaotic mind
but still beautiful

i seek for certain words to fit in
but what do i have here
an ink blot
i tried to wash it away and erase, but alas! i give up

a white lie is a white lie
but where would my lie be classified to
i guess....its not a lie at all
i laughed.

i looked at those eyes
behold, the eyes that holds nothing
they're so empty i dont know what to think
and i dont know what to ask

if i can erase all those pain
if i can erase that tiny blot
then its pure again
if only i can wash it all off.

i think

i want to run away
away as possible from this place
far from everyone i know
far from anyone that i recognize

i made a bucket list
i just want my great escape
if i can find myself a so called home
then i know i should be just fine

but alas
i have no more home
because i chose this path
if i can just run away and forget all this

i want to go somewhere
someone take me somewhere
far from here
i am confused

i know i had it all
where is my all
it's gone
depreciated

i want to go back
but where will i start
i want to look back
but what's to look at

i am depressed
this is depressing
am i depressing?
im mumbling...

i think im gone
will anyone remember me
would anyone still stare
would you look me in the eye. guess not

ZOMFG I HAVE A FRIEND

so sup buddie
your like wow ooh hey its artie, :D
so cheah i'm writing this to acknowledge that your a zomfgwtfbff xD lol

well it's been a long time since i've known you and you nosy carebear has and is always a good friend whenever i need a pop up hello funny friend that i can actually talk to in both troublesome and easy going days.

:3 you're a really nice guy and im doing this for the credit of being a good friend towards that nice guy xP
well anyway thank you for the company whenever i need it, you respond plox.

so euhmm i just wanted to TY by writing this ty note and i want jou to know that if in any case you need someone to be of any help just ask HOKAI?

I THINK I AM

just happens.

every time, all the time i feel like i'm flying highb
something just holds me back, inside of me i die
every time i try and fall in love
just every time i do, i always end up to have to prove.

every time i think about you
and every time i think i do
i always come up with thoughts of things i never did
and i wonder if ever i am one of those you want to get rid.

and when you look at me with those eyes with tears
i see no trace of fear
i'm tired of make believe and pretends
your no lover, no longer my friend.

you lied and lied and tried to turn my head around
and yet i cant ask myself why i have to take you back every time
if this is what it means to love someone, then i dont know if love is fun at all
everything i thought about us, just went pass through us

when i gave you my heart, i gave you my trust
it was'nt always this way
love did'nt have to mean that we would always go on a bump
it's the time when every little thing mattered.

every little thing

if you ask me if i'll be gone
you know i what i'll say, can't be undone
and if you want to hear my words
keep them near and keep them close.

i'm happy you are mine
there's nothing more to ask
there's no one else to know
with you i lay my heart and my dreams and my everything else

if you ask me if i'll go find
another man you can't define
i say you're wrong
for i love you far too long

this love of mine wont end you know
things will only get better for you and me from now
i just hope you know im here
to help you out whether ur far or near

and i'm lucky for i have you
someone so dear someone so true
we may have rough times and good times
but this things will define our love, even though it doesnt rhyme

and every little thing that we're made of
is all because of what you started
a love i thought does not exist
now has conquered everything i know.

if you decide

if you decide to leave
i can't promise you i'll be the same

if you think you have to
i wouldnt insist

if you're gone you'll see me smile
even so its not the same

if you'll leave i can still live
but a part of me will die

and when your gone
i'll still stand up, but not as strong as i was, not yet

and when you decide to forget about me
i'll always remember you

when the time come's that you've decided to come back
i wont be wavering anymore

if you decide to take your words back
do not worry, i have forgotten about them

and if you say you still love me
you wouldnt have to ask for my reply

i always have and always will
no matter what, i be safe or ill

but if you decide to get along with your life
i will get along with mine

even if its hard to say
even if i choke when i hear your name

you're still the sweetest and most wonderful thing that happened to my life
nothing will change as to what i said, whether you go or stay

i can't decide on what you want
you can't do that to me either

the only thing i want is to make you happy
i hope i did even for a second, that's my keepsake memory

i wish to keep you, i wish you'd stay
but if you won't then i'm here to stay

i wont go anywhere you can't find me
i'll bere here loving you still silly.

because i can

i thought i lost it
i thought i'd be gone
i thought it'd be impossible
but i thought wrong.

as i watch you close your eyes at night
i whisper to myself
if only i can hold your hand
if only i can touch your face
if only i can have you here
then i'd be happy to just spend a quiet time with you

another night
i say goodnight
you say i love you
i say i do too
just a couple more months
yes a couple more of the long wait.

i want you
i need you
i miss you
i want to be beside you
because i love you

i wont leave you
no, i wont forsake you
i wont cheat on you
no, i cant lie to you
because i can and i will love you always and forever

even if forever does not exist
nothings impossible because i can
i know i can be here for you
i want to be here for you
even if you say i can't, i know i can

i love you beyond reasonable doubt
i know, because i still love you
i love you more than ever
im falling inlove over and over again
because i know i can

i wish to hold you on this special day
i know i can but now's not yet that time
but when the time comes that i can
i'll cherish every moment i have with you

hold unto me
never leave me
lets be with each other
as long as we can still feel this love
and i know it wont go away, because i can

i can love you more than what you felt before
i may utter it a few times
but i know i can show it more than i speak it
how?, by being here because thats all i can do. i love you dane my one and only.~happy monthsary

uspide down

when does something beautiful turn into something grotesque
when does something so meaningful become nonsense
its when it turns upside down....

its when someone leaves you
then the scar remains
and he tries to come back and bring it all back together
yes he was successful because he puts meaning to everything
then he leaves again then the scar just begins to open up all over
he asks whats your resolve
i ask what's his'


its when someone taught you how to love
then he takes his love away from you

its when someone holds you up high
then he drops you anytime

its when you've been wishing he's home
then he turns his back and all your hopes are gone

its when you try and shut yourself up but all u can do is think
thinking what if he didnt leave me

its when all you want to do is hold his hand when he comes home
but then he never will be home

its when you care about him so much
then he tells you that he doesnt feel the same for you

its when you cry on the side of the pillow
wishing he takes those words back

this is when everything on top
twists itself and put you on the bottom
this is when everything is nothing
and when your heart is nowhere to be found anymore
because you've given your best and your all to that one person
to the only person who you thought wont leave you anymore.

i love it when you play the guitar
and when you call, i just want to talk to you more
i love it when you call my name
and when you take all the blame
i love it when you look at me
and say that you need me
i love it when you constantly remind me to take care
and when you talk to me about stuff we share

you make me laugh
you make me cry
but its fine as long as you dont lie

you're emotional when im numb
you try and be strong when im not
you know what makes me happy
and you know it when im upset

your all i hate
but your someone i cant hate.

i love you.

i cant even hate you
nor get mad at you
even the idea of it happening seems vague
if it does, i think of it as a big plague

and when you put up your small grin
i ask why you're so mean
and you just say its nothing
when i know its everything

in the end you'll just say you got jealous
and we make amends and let the mistake show us
that we can make it through another rain
even if it causes us pain.

i love you.

to him from me

i wish he see's
if he can remember
i wish he feels
if he only remember

am i just a part of a memory
a fragment be forgotten
am i just a part of a memory
soon to be erased

will he remember
where he left me before
will he remember
how it was to hold hands with me

will he still want
to even come home to me
will he still want
to even talk to me

am i not enough
my very existence is a maze
am i not enough
im just a phase, im afraid

will i ever suffice
when he had the best
will i ever suffice
when he was once content

i hope im enough
that's all i wish i am
i hope im enough
to not to feel deprived.

what i have become

there are a lot of things i failed to realize
some parts of life i thought i should memorize
but on the question of who i am
and what i am
that i cannot answer
so i chose to stay on one corner
and i tried to reconcile to myself what i should be doing with my life
i smiled and looked up.....[tbc]

deep blue

whenever i try and forget
i always end up feeling regret
all ends i try to meet
yet in the end i find my defeat

my heart yearns for you my love
but my mind has no chemsitry to solve
i thought we'd be together forever
but my fear has gotten me while im sober

i think about you on the side of my bed
your all that's running through my heart and head
it didnt took me the whole century to realize
on how much you have me mesmerized

i'll try and be strong for a while
maybe we'll get farther for more than a mile
who knows if this is good or bad
just dont feel that sad

whenever i try to blend
and for this heartache to mend
your face is reflected in every side
i wish one day we'd collide

my feelings for you are like the ocean
so deep and blue and is in constant motion
it never stays stagnant and boring
for you complete me reassuring

but if this love i feel is real
i'd be back with my goal to seal
and by then you'll have my heart
my first beloved sweetheart

-DCBT/17'09

just a thought

when i thought all was lost
i was yet to find another meaning
and here i am
surrounded by what i thought i never had
i couldnt thank people enough for what they've done
i couldnt thank people enough for what they've given me
i realized a whole new setting after three rainfalls
the rainbow's always gonna find its way through the drizzle and the sun
i couldnt thank my love enough for what he's done
and i couldnt thank my friends enough for always being there
but most of all
i couldnt thank the people who said stuff that might've brought me down a little
but that little misfortune turned out to be so great in helping me realize something

when the sunshines on my face
i thank you
for you made me feel alive again

everyday i wonder why people need to respond
to the word i love you
when in the first place it isnt a question
so i never fail to see how much u do
without uttering those words
you say i love you
and yet you ask nothing in return
you make me feel you're there
even if you're far away
you made me say i need you
yet i am on my own
i can stand alone
but you know my weakness

just a thought i saved everyday
it goes unsaid
but it means a lot
i am here when you need me the most
and yet i am here even if you dont
because that's how you we're with me
even if you don't say nor make me feel that you do
i care for you
more than anything nor anyone in this world

shallow

i know im a kid
i make rash decisions
sometimes i make decisions for the heck of it
he says im bitter
i know im not
mad maybe
but thats the point
i took all my strength to release it
and now im no longer mad
:3 im so fresh, well i never want to be mad
i made this post
to bring out what i feel
well what do i feel
i feel love
anger has passed
i feel happy
yea the smile doesnt fade away easily
i feel sad
cos the rain wont stop
i feel jumpy
cos im moslty hyper
and i know im crazy
CRAZY is what comprises me
:3 and my loveydovey loves me when im crazy

take a pause

when they world seems to fall on you
and when it seemed like it stopped just to judge you
take a pause
there's no better time to do that than now
just be real
show what you feel
never hide
even if tears go down the side
just take a pause
and think what you really want
have some cup of coffee or perhaps some tea
yes a pause will do
and then when you're done pondering
have a smile
it'll brighten up your day
a pause will do just once in a while
dont be hard on yourself like i used to be
but all it takes is just a pause
to think back on what you may have done
but never regret that you've done them
and this pause will make you realize you've done more than what you can
so take your time
if someone's pushing you down
just back out
and then get a grip then go back to the road again
a pause may do a lot of things
don't forget to always pray
pray that you'd be guided on what you think you can still change, and that youll have the knowledge to know what is it that you can't
a pause is enough to enlighten you
so have one
and have a time on your own
besides
shit happens, but other stuff is also going on
so pause for a while to ponder upon everything that burdens you
but never let it crush you for this reflection will help you

-moogle your my friend, i may not always be around to comfort you, but whenever your sad dont be so down, there's always a way out, and if there's none....then its not yours to carry =]

but all i can do is admire

i admire the blind
for they see beyond what i do
i admire the deaf
for they hear no lies
i admire the mute
for they may feel pain but they are able to keep it all in
i admire the wasted
for they have nothing to worry about

but all i can do is admire

for i am me
and this is where i am
i placed myself in this pedestal
i have to face it everyday
i may not see beyond the usual
but i know that i can help those who cannot see the obvious
i may hear lies, pretends, and great distress
but im not gonna run away from them, i'll be able to do my best to distinguish the necessary evil
i may speak, swear, curse and complain
but i have character to be understanding and forgiving
i do admire them
cos that's all i can do for now.

john legend

it is indeed in our human nature
we commit and omit mistakes
most of the time
we need to take things slow

i still care

this isnt about me, not about the past
im writing cos i care
im writing cos you have been, become, is...a part of me
im writing cos i'm worried
i'm hoping you'll be better soon
nothing really important
just conveying a message
since it's been long
pretty long time that we've talked
since the last time we conversed
i know your job is a risk
but please just take care
i ask nothing more but for your safety
a part of me is left with you
i care about you
i miss you
til the next time we see each other...

TOMMYPISH

hey guess what tommy hans vikman ....your freaken old xDDD LOL omgawh i cant believe i missed that well cheah here it is now right, well wishing you the best of life, have a taste of its different variety, be better never grow bitter cos that's how we roll LOL...
your like my first e-bud, yea doing all sorts of shit together :P evil much, putting that aside continue following your heart, stay true and keep it real, the world needs more people like you...and your freaken coconut tree, yea you can have all the coconut trees around the beach house i stayed in xDD LOL

a simple guy

with a simple wish to go by

be happy

live life fully

when you'll need a shoulder

whenever your gonna falter

always remember

friends are there

all you gotta do

is call on them then you wont feel blue

your a good person

hence there is no need for reason

it's easy to be your friend

so to you i'll lend a hand

you make everything easy

just talking to you, even if your busy

as you toss your fate into things you do

bartending, recording and everything else new

we your friends we'll always be here

cos you tommypish for us is dear

blah blah blah yea yea cheezy i know right D: thats cos im so ghey xDD LOL hope you enjoy so cheah HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN TOMMY =D

behind

im left behind unable to grasp things fast with the phase, and i wonder
left wondering......what if

i know i have the will to
but the circumstances wont allow
as far as i can analyze the situtation
things are out of my leage at this time
my opinion wont matter
my feelings wont affect anything
and my decision wont change the scenario
did i even matter at all
you said those words
they were blown away by the slight change of the wind
what happened
you dont have to answer
i understand
you dont have to ponder
i have accepted everything
even before you said let go
i realized something was wrong
i dont push people away for no reason
im not numb
i can feel
and i know we were drifting
and i wanted to see if you'd stick around
i guess not all of us are that strong
im aware of my flaws
somehow your thought about me is that im ideal
from the very beginning i told you i wasnt
i made it clear that it's better to stay away
now look at what you've done
you made me feel again and i broke your heart
im sorry
if i made you doubt and think about what you got into
im sorry
im not good enough for you

i wish you all the good things in life, your a good person you deserve someone better and we both know that, hope you wont be a stranger.

my remorse

this is the part where i say what i feel, the part where i say something that may or may not change the decision of the only person that i felt complete with, this contains all my honest thoughts and regards.

i know nobody's perfect, we crash once in a while, the tension breaks us apart, the distance does matter even if we say it doesnt, at times we do things that hurt other people even those that we care just to prove that we are alive, even the people who claims to be happy and content do need to find ways to prove themselves that they are alive, and as for me, it is to feel the pain of losing someone that i do prove myself that i love them and that they are most dear to me, sometimes i try to pick myself up from the mischief's i caused, trying to put it back together, wishing that it'll be alright even if i know it wont be, and right now i know im near my breaking point, inka tells me to be strong and so does my other friends, tom says i should take care, but i dont know, the fact that at times i just stay in a corner and cry, yea i cry a lot cos im a cry baby, means that it does affect me so much, what i just want to know in the current situation is that, was it all a dream, i just wish i never woke up, was it all just for show, all of those words trying to give me a sign that i am better off alone, where am i without the light, where am i without my guide, where am i without the wall i cling on to whenever the lights go off, im nowhere, im a nobody, trying to be strong and just hoping that somehow all of it was real, i dont know what will happen after his decision, if he stays with me, im lucky enough to have him still, if he doesnt then im still happy to have someone so beautiful and so sweet cross my path, you have been strong for the both of us, im trying to be strong for me, somehow trying to be strong to stay focused, yea im that selfish, im an ass most of the time and i am aware of it, but somehow you putting up with me only means you have accepted me, but i guess im just too stubborn for anyone to handle.

this is how much i love you, i thought the pain from before was too much, but this time i know it'll surely put me into seclusion, i dont want to be your friend, i love you too much to even accept your friendship, somehow, the silence do kill my soul, when is the right time, i know this may sound rash but, a reflection overnight isnt a joke, one night and dear i missed you, and you say its "only" been days, its been 4 long days and in that duration, i dont know my limitation anymore, i know im patient but im not that strong, i can wait, but maybe when your back if you ever come back, im once again broken, but.....


your the only person who can bring me back again, you know where to find me, i love you even more, i love you like a compliment of the day and night, i love you like water of the sea trying to conquer the sandy beach inch by inch, i love you more everytime i wake up, and more everytime i cry, i love you more compared to the first love i had, i love you more than words can say, i need you, i want you, i just hope youre mine.....

all is done

i remember the time when i was crying
you told me to stop cos its pointless to
i remember the time when i was down and all
you picked me up and told me to hang on
i remember the time that i had nobody to talk to
you turned to me and said "im here"
i remember the time when everything seemed gray
you grabbed your brush and painted it w/ the shade of the rainbow
i remember the time that i was in trouble
you made me realize that there is always a way
i remember the time that almost all is lost
you shined so bright in my darkest days
i remember the time that i sang to you
you smiled and sung to me too
i remember the time when it was cold
you somehow reached out and shared your warmth
i remember the time when i had too much in my head
i got so pissed and stubborn
you told me its okay not to be always okay
i remember that certain time when i was pushing away
you hold on to me even if i said let go

.....but this time i wont forget
i told you to forget bout me
but your still there

I shiver in this cold night
Thinking where I’ve gone wrong
My eyes looking for a light
And saw a spark not so long

Crawling, going near the spark
I feel warm inside out
I looked back and it isn’t that dark
And I felt something inside me wants to shout

Hold me close to your heart
Never let me go
Let’s just talk, it’s a start
It might go somewhere we don’t know

Ask and I will be true
Just don’t turn your back on me
Because seeing you will do
I’ll keep on living with a sense of being free

Knowing that you’ll stay
You’re becoming a part of me
Just seeing you everyday
I want to say I’m yours exclusively

in the beggars eye

I walk down the corner of the 33^rd street, I’m just trying to get away from the commotion hoping that it’ll all be done, the noise, the chaos, I just wanted to eat and so I don’t care what’s happening though things running through my head as I hear them shout some things about poverty, food, education and something about kicking the president out, “pshh, poverty, what do they know about being hungry” I murmured, I am but a child with my early age all that they spare to me is pity….

I paused, “yes pity”, then I looked up in the dark cold secluded ally, “this is where I belong, where no one really cares of what happens to any of my kind and to where nobody sees me”, every time people look at me their eyes seem to traverse another direction that it seems they are avoiding even to make an eye contact with me, “I wont bother knowing why, for even I pity myself”….

Slowly reaching the bottom of the garbage can, “aha!, there it is”, looking at the piece of morsel, “I know, you were thrown out because you’re a reject, expired perhaps, but don’t worry I wont disregard you less than the others”, *grins*, as I was eating that bread I looked down and suddenly tears begun to flow, “if only my little voice will be heard beyond all this commotion, then I can tell them to spare me a better left over”, my body shaking, so thin, so innocent, so ignorant, “hah, they throw this words at me, yet they don’t know what it feels, yet they don’t do anything to help me, they all say they fight for something, but I, who have nowhere to go, me, who knows nothing is just another kid, I know I don’t have such knowledge, I know I don’t know why they start those movements, I don’t even know the reason of all this commotion, I just want to eat…”

L|FE L|NE

I have this so called life

And I live it in my so called way

But it’s not so much of my own

For other’s comment on me

Why can’t I be free

From all this allegation

Isn’t it but prompt

That I stay the same way

I have many of a face

Some I show

Some I hide

And other’s have died

For in every day of my life

I live as someone I’m not

Rather as someone they want to see

But now I’m on my own

And there’s no stopping me

I won’t run away to the backdoor

I’d rather be out in the front door

I’m here facing the sun

Walking my road

And I’m on my way

Life is a very short passage

And everything else will take its place

Yes the sunshine

Touching my skin

Nothing more beautiful than that

And now I’ll let everybody know

That I’d rather be out the front door

So old life I say goodbye

And I’ll be on my way.

moping

In this cold dark night

I long for you

You whom I wish to be with

Wondering

Waiting

Hoping

While all my time I kill

Thinking

When will we be ever together

Asking

Why do we have to be so far

In my mind I run this things

In my secluded little imagination

I think that we’re together

Thinking we’ll never part

As the time pass me by

Watch me fade

See my all go down the drain

Stare at me while I stare back

Drenched and abandoned

In this dark corner

A pin drop I hear

And the water leaking from above

Quenching the thirsty abyss

From hereon forth

I commence myself

I’ll wait

My heart beats

My blood flows

Time does no exist

For I am parallel

To this non-existent dimension

I’m here and I’m not

So far yet so close

So clear yet so vague

Nothing is definite

For like me

I ask

When will all this be resolved

Be me

Think like me

But be you

And act like me

Aha!, pretend

I’ve had enough of this

Part by part

Piece by piece

I’m absorbed by this

A dark hole created by my mind

Infinity it reaches

Yet nothingness in the end

Rip me into your will

For I have abandoned myself

I left me in the world unknown

Just to run away

Yes, to runaway from my distress

Give me a reason

That I may live

But for this reason

I die in vain

Give me your life

And I’ll be numb

For it is not mine

Give me your heart

That I may step on it

I’ll make you cry

Give me your meaning

And I’ll wear your mask

For I am in no need to live by my own

Do not explain

Do not ponder

For I

Yes, me, myself

Will always be just

And yet another memory

Free me

And you’ll be damned

Cry for me

And I’ll look down at you

In my death I wish to see no tear

For in your tears

My very soul is reaped apart

Forgive me

For I have sinned

Forget me

For I have brought forth pain

Hate me

For my wishes be done

Love me

For thy pleasure you seek

I am but another doll

Broken by fear of distrust

Uncomfortable fitting in

And surely fired up by doubt

Think of me like summer

You, drenching in the heat

Think of me like autumn

For everything I come close with

Dies and withers

Think of me like winter

Cold, depressing and harsh

But never think of me like spring

For I renew nothing

And I am never gentle

Then again I go back to my world

A world I made with you and me in it

Am I just imagining

I hope not

For in this short life

All I wanted to be

Is to be me

Along with everything I cared for

Who doesn’t…..

drifitng

not long enough do i remember
the memory that was stuck on my head
your face
your voice
everything seems so vivid
yet it seems to be slowly diminishing
im bitter cos i dont want it to fade
i dont want to ever lose that
the very thing i keep
the very something i hold close in my heart
you.....
but i feel like i'm drifting away
and i just wanna cry when i realize that it is
drifting....
but why is it that every time someone comes close
i push them away
or i get pushed away
then i stop to care
don't ever wanna hurt or be hurt again
i'd choose to drift
yes
just drift away
to the memories of the past
just drifting away to the shadows of many
i wanna stay where i am
therefore i must drift away
yes im running away from this so called life
yes i may run away from this reality
but i am my own, and i'll stick with it...
just drifting, i'll let time pass while i fade with time in memorial
i love you
hear it echo in the halls of your perfect little world
no better explanation but the fact that i am walking my path stumbling upon this void of life
wondering why
why do we have to be away

Ang tao

ang tao
nabiyayaan ng buhay
nabigyan ng utak at damdamin
ngunit
bakit ang tao
nagagawang manakit
bagamat nabigyan ng sariling kusa
bakit naaatim na tiising naghihirap ang kapwa
bakit ang tao nakakapagbigkas
mga salitang nakakasakit
kahit na sa kanilang sarili ay hindi nila tatanggapin
meron mang isip at consensya
bakit nagagawang ipagdamot ng tao ang isang bagay na ikakabuti ng lahat
ang tao nga naman
isang malaking pala isipan
kung ganito din lang
ang tao ay ang uri ng nabubuhay
para lamang sa sariling kapakanan
sakim na kung sakim
pero ang tao
meron ding isang katangian na hindi maikakait na syang nagbabago sa lahat
ito ay ang katangiang kaya nilang magbago
oo, pudpod na ang linya nang pagbabago
pero hindi ito naluluma
mamatay na ang lahat
ang pagbabago ay hindi makakaligtaan pagkat
ang tao ay hindi lamang nabubuhay sa iisang araw
ito ang tao...marami man tayong masasabi
hindi parin ito malinaw pagkat
ang lahat ay sadya lamang isang malaking palaisipan

slacking off

the wind blowing the heat away
the sun beating down on top of my head

aha!peace
*sits back listening to the sound of nothingness

what we make

people can write so many things
they can say random words
some makes us laugh
some makes us cry
most of the time people are unique
but in a way
there's a common denominator that classifies us as one
we make things unexpected to others
sometimes just a continuation of their work
everyone has their own medicine
and some just can't get enough of life's reality
this isn't the perfect poem
nor does it have a flow
it's just one of those we pass by and scan
we get our ideas
then we flip them and tweak them then make our own
there's no originality
for we live in a world where almost everything is cliche
almost everything have been used
may it be deep
or simply shallow words
we live by example
some live by their experience
others just wants another ear to listen to their stories
when we come across those who are better than us
it's either we make them our friends
or we put them up in the wall of seclusion
when we come across someone who inspires us
we tend to make them ours
well in fact you can never own anyone
not by heart nor in mind
for they are their own
neither can we be owned
we can talk about the blue sky
about the sweet sound of music
about life's tragedy's and success
more about those we don't know
and less about who we are
but more about who we want them to see
when we look at the distance
we will notice a blur image of us
not so soon do we realize that we reflect those who we hate
if we think too much
we forget to act
when we act as soon as possible
we forget to reflect
when we reflect too much
we neglect the fact
that it's too late
people speak of change, corruption and more
but as to what i see
people are corrupt in their very own manner
change is constant, though there's a glitch
inconsistency is existent
therefore making change a fad to some or maybe most of the things
people have been talking about change since i can remember
but somehow
through the process
we don't change, passing on to another generation
sometimes we do when we have to
but in it's very essence it's still us
just another side as they say
when people talk about life
i smile
people shouldn't be talking about life
they should live it
death, hence its meaning, is interesting
for there we transcend
and its complication is but another fact
a fact that cannot be avoided
for each and everyone of us has their deaths
not the transcendence wherein we fade within our earthly boundary
but the death of every human soul as we speak
the silence of each soul and mind is death itself
this is but another passage
not one of your daily poems
unorthodox to some
but a commonality to others
in here i rest
in here i lay down my final moments
til the day i write again
til the day i would find a purposeful topic
and til the day i find the meaning of my very inconsistent existence
for i am but another human
who dared question thy creation of such monstrosity
and another soul
who seeks for answers to undefined questions.

this were the memories that was kept by my old self, do you ever wonder why i dont ever get mad at you...

i remember the time
you carried me on your back
it was the sweetest memory i have
from you to me

my foot was injured
and you didn't hesitate to carry me
we walked from a distant
going home in the middle of the night

i wanted to stop the time
just to spend it all with you
but i can't it must go on

this memory i hold means a lot
means so much i hold
never made me plant grudge on you
never hated you

i remember the time
we used to spend watching the stars
hoping that it's not half past 9
for then you'd have to go

i remember the time we were together
we spend all day laughing
laughing bout the simplest things
breaking the odds, they thought i was your sister

this memories i keep before
never made me hate you
this is what i thought about you
your not a bad person, it was just the wrong time

i remember the time you made me cry
i never looked back
but i wanted you to hug me
and you did, you never left me

i remember the time
when you pride went up your head
i always bring you down
and we end up laughing about it

i remember the time when we are together
and we spend all day walking around town
talking bout nothing
about everything

we were going nowhere
but surely it was a memory to keep
this memory made me stay
yes they did, and i know your not a bad person

this memory i keep deep down
for you were a part of who i am
i thank you for everything
for this memory was fun it never made me mad at you

a message to undefined

....people are people they change when they need to not when they are told to do so, people are corrupt theres no escaping the fact that they do have tendencies, and for that fact that it is in their nature to hurt, it is also a fact that cannot be hindered that they can care, but reaching out into the deepest part of their mind attributes people have choices, they may commit and omit but the hardest part about being a person is to actually do something that would be the benefit of their fellowmen, do not attempt what not but instead think of the possibilities while you still have the resources to do so, we are who we think and so think of who we are, not of what we are not meant to be, swallow this things called pride and never be prejudicial for in prejudgment you will never have anything to face to the mob instead of your ranting and whining, be realistic and true not only to yourself but to others, there's no point in hiding for there wont be anything to hide as we speak, people are people change may be constant but inconcistency is a fact that is undeniably existent

whoah now by louque

Whoa Now - Louque

i'll be on my way now
i may look back
but im not walking down the same road anymore

i hope you do realize
the things you should change
but perhaps change would be much to ask

so i'll be on my way now
i hope you're happy with your life
be happy that your alive

i'll be walking my path now
so please dont intercept
it may be harsh when we meet again

on my way i wont cry
for i have found a meaning in life
so ponder upon this what happened

and on my way i hope
you find yours too
so i'll be on my way now, hope you do too

before i close my eyes

before i shun my eyes to sleep
i want to share this thing i keep

a burden for some they say it is
and for some a grasp of reality they kiss

nobody can tell us how to live our life
we can either live it or kill it with a blunt knife

people are people they change when they need to
they're just waiting for a time for them to do

today i saw myself again
into another man's dilemma my friend

when you lose the meaning of going on
you lose the meaning of life itself, in the air it's blown

....[]

if***

they say that almost all the questions have answers, some questions are answered by questions, a few questions are intended as an answer to a question that has not been raised yet, but a question that never ends is if.....

some look for answers due to heartache
some for clarification
others are simply for emphasis...

but what if....
this questions are just a momentary pause for where we are and where were going
what if....
we are but another existence to be vanquished
what if...
yes
what if...
the question that never ends

so do i...
i have this if...

if i change
would you accept,
if i turn into someone you hate
would you still be there
if i fall
will i find you in the bottom of the hole
if i mock you
would you still talk to me
if i defy you
would you hate me
if i curse you
would you wish good things for me
if i leave you
would you go anywhere
if i came back
would i still find you there
if i hurt you
would you still be my beacon of light
if i lie to you
can you still trust me
if i disappear
would you miss me
if i suddenly show up
would you greet me and say goodbye
if i continue to hurt
would you continue hearing me out
if i drive you away
would you stay
if i say i love you more than myself
would you take advantage of my weakness
if i'm lost for words
would you dare fill the empty space in between
if...
only if...
if i were there
would you be beside me
if i were your neighbor
would we be more than friends
if i were just a stranger
(the fact that i am)
would you still talk to me
if i were your classmate
would you even notice me
if,..
if....
well it's not...so live with it.

dirtbag

those words did hurt
i took them all
i've waited for you
you never looked back
now you're on your own
i'm walking my road
you made a detour
you wanted to clear things out
all i left are my footprints of yesterday
you blame me for not staying
but you told me not to
you confuse me
i keep playing your game
i asked why you did
and you told me nothing
till now....

hear what you say before you point your dirty finger at me.....or at least just wash them first

less is more

Ludwig Mies van der Rohe
Buckminster Fuller
minimalism, the architectural design that inspired me, somehow, it captures your attention, beauty for less, form follows function....

summer

i long for the summer breeze, the feeling of the air hitting my face, summer, beach, ocean, star gazing, sand on my feet, the cool relaxing momento..yea...pretty much summer for everyone...

but nope, my summer is filled with thrilling residential designs, crazy obsession with research, and most of all sadistic instructors :| yea, summer huh,..pretty much everything i wait for...and my dad...nope not going to talk to him when i find it uninteresting...

yes really

i dont believe in forever

but i believe that we make choices

i don't believe in second chances
but i believe in change

i don't believe in coincidences
but i do believe in fate

i don't believe in death
but i do believe it's just a transition

i don't believe in the world of lies
for if people have their own opinion, then it's the truth

i don't believe in most of things
but i do believe in what people do

i don't believe that promises are meant to be broken
because if i can keep them then so can others

i don't believe there are gray areas
but i do believe in black and white

i don't believe that what people show is them fully
but i do believe everyone has their own soft sides...

optimism

i turned my head to the east
i saw the sunshine
turned my head to the west
i saw the reflection of its magnificence
looked down to the ground
my feet are still on steady ground
i looked up
closed my eyes

.....and said

happy enough to wake up every morning, feeling every inch of reality a pinch of which that makes me feel alive and once more thank you....

blend it

blue....they usually think its blue
but its not

there's a big difference
and it Is'nt green

it's TEAL!!!

DEAD AND GONE

Been traveling all alone

In this world we know

I look at peoples faces

Yet all of them seem unknown

I turned by my side

Saw nothing but my shadow

Turned my head behind

Saw nothing else but my past

I thought I was not alone

But I guess I always was

Walked in the old ally I’ve been to

But everything seem so new

People calling my name

But they never know me

People saying stuff

But they will never understand

I’ve been shun for many times

I’ve changed a lot since then

Walking on the same road

But with a different character

The old me is dead and gone

I’m going to face the world again

But this time I’m different

The old me won’t come back

I’ve buried my issues deep down

Never going to look back

The old me is dead and gone

Nobody would look for anyway

Been walking for ages

Yet everything seem different

Nothing stayed the same

Not even the ones I thought I knew

Colour’s of different people

Fading into one

From the rainbow pass

It’s now dull Gray

As of now

The old me is dead and gone

I’ve started out my life again

A life I never knew I’d have