drifitng

not long enough do i remember
the memory that was stuck on my head
your face
your voice
everything seems so vivid
yet it seems to be slowly diminishing
im bitter cos i dont want it to fade
i dont want to ever lose that
the very thing i keep
the very something i hold close in my heart
you.....
but i feel like i'm drifting away
and i just wanna cry when i realize that it is
drifting....
but why is it that every time someone comes close
i push them away
or i get pushed away
then i stop to care
don't ever wanna hurt or be hurt again
i'd choose to drift
yes
just drift away
to the memories of the past
just drifting away to the shadows of many
i wanna stay where i am
therefore i must drift away
yes im running away from this so called life
yes i may run away from this reality
but i am my own, and i'll stick with it...
just drifting, i'll let time pass while i fade with time in memorial
i love you
hear it echo in the halls of your perfect little world
no better explanation but the fact that i am walking my path stumbling upon this void of life
wondering why
why do we have to be away

Ang tao

ang tao
nabiyayaan ng buhay
nabigyan ng utak at damdamin
ngunit
bakit ang tao
nagagawang manakit
bagamat nabigyan ng sariling kusa
bakit naaatim na tiising naghihirap ang kapwa
bakit ang tao nakakapagbigkas
mga salitang nakakasakit
kahit na sa kanilang sarili ay hindi nila tatanggapin
meron mang isip at consensya
bakit nagagawang ipagdamot ng tao ang isang bagay na ikakabuti ng lahat
ang tao nga naman
isang malaking pala isipan
kung ganito din lang
ang tao ay ang uri ng nabubuhay
para lamang sa sariling kapakanan
sakim na kung sakim
pero ang tao
meron ding isang katangian na hindi maikakait na syang nagbabago sa lahat
ito ay ang katangiang kaya nilang magbago
oo, pudpod na ang linya nang pagbabago
pero hindi ito naluluma
mamatay na ang lahat
ang pagbabago ay hindi makakaligtaan pagkat
ang tao ay hindi lamang nabubuhay sa iisang araw
ito ang tao...marami man tayong masasabi
hindi parin ito malinaw pagkat
ang lahat ay sadya lamang isang malaking palaisipan

slacking off

the wind blowing the heat away
the sun beating down on top of my head

aha!peace
*sits back listening to the sound of nothingness

what we make

people can write so many things
they can say random words
some makes us laugh
some makes us cry
most of the time people are unique
but in a way
there's a common denominator that classifies us as one
we make things unexpected to others
sometimes just a continuation of their work
everyone has their own medicine
and some just can't get enough of life's reality
this isn't the perfect poem
nor does it have a flow
it's just one of those we pass by and scan
we get our ideas
then we flip them and tweak them then make our own
there's no originality
for we live in a world where almost everything is cliche
almost everything have been used
may it be deep
or simply shallow words
we live by example
some live by their experience
others just wants another ear to listen to their stories
when we come across those who are better than us
it's either we make them our friends
or we put them up in the wall of seclusion
when we come across someone who inspires us
we tend to make them ours
well in fact you can never own anyone
not by heart nor in mind
for they are their own
neither can we be owned
we can talk about the blue sky
about the sweet sound of music
about life's tragedy's and success
more about those we don't know
and less about who we are
but more about who we want them to see
when we look at the distance
we will notice a blur image of us
not so soon do we realize that we reflect those who we hate
if we think too much
we forget to act
when we act as soon as possible
we forget to reflect
when we reflect too much
we neglect the fact
that it's too late
people speak of change, corruption and more
but as to what i see
people are corrupt in their very own manner
change is constant, though there's a glitch
inconsistency is existent
therefore making change a fad to some or maybe most of the things
people have been talking about change since i can remember
but somehow
through the process
we don't change, passing on to another generation
sometimes we do when we have to
but in it's very essence it's still us
just another side as they say
when people talk about life
i smile
people shouldn't be talking about life
they should live it
death, hence its meaning, is interesting
for there we transcend
and its complication is but another fact
a fact that cannot be avoided
for each and everyone of us has their deaths
not the transcendence wherein we fade within our earthly boundary
but the death of every human soul as we speak
the silence of each soul and mind is death itself
this is but another passage
not one of your daily poems
unorthodox to some
but a commonality to others
in here i rest
in here i lay down my final moments
til the day i write again
til the day i would find a purposeful topic
and til the day i find the meaning of my very inconsistent existence
for i am but another human
who dared question thy creation of such monstrosity
and another soul
who seeks for answers to undefined questions.

this were the memories that was kept by my old self, do you ever wonder why i dont ever get mad at you...

i remember the time
you carried me on your back
it was the sweetest memory i have
from you to me

my foot was injured
and you didn't hesitate to carry me
we walked from a distant
going home in the middle of the night

i wanted to stop the time
just to spend it all with you
but i can't it must go on

this memory i hold means a lot
means so much i hold
never made me plant grudge on you
never hated you

i remember the time
we used to spend watching the stars
hoping that it's not half past 9
for then you'd have to go

i remember the time we were together
we spend all day laughing
laughing bout the simplest things
breaking the odds, they thought i was your sister

this memories i keep before
never made me hate you
this is what i thought about you
your not a bad person, it was just the wrong time

i remember the time you made me cry
i never looked back
but i wanted you to hug me
and you did, you never left me

i remember the time
when you pride went up your head
i always bring you down
and we end up laughing about it

i remember the time when we are together
and we spend all day walking around town
talking bout nothing
about everything

we were going nowhere
but surely it was a memory to keep
this memory made me stay
yes they did, and i know your not a bad person

this memory i keep deep down
for you were a part of who i am
i thank you for everything
for this memory was fun it never made me mad at you

a message to undefined

....people are people they change when they need to not when they are told to do so, people are corrupt theres no escaping the fact that they do have tendencies, and for that fact that it is in their nature to hurt, it is also a fact that cannot be hindered that they can care, but reaching out into the deepest part of their mind attributes people have choices, they may commit and omit but the hardest part about being a person is to actually do something that would be the benefit of their fellowmen, do not attempt what not but instead think of the possibilities while you still have the resources to do so, we are who we think and so think of who we are, not of what we are not meant to be, swallow this things called pride and never be prejudicial for in prejudgment you will never have anything to face to the mob instead of your ranting and whining, be realistic and true not only to yourself but to others, there's no point in hiding for there wont be anything to hide as we speak, people are people change may be constant but inconcistency is a fact that is undeniably existent

whoah now by louque

Whoa Now - Louque

i'll be on my way now
i may look back
but im not walking down the same road anymore

i hope you do realize
the things you should change
but perhaps change would be much to ask

so i'll be on my way now
i hope you're happy with your life
be happy that your alive

i'll be walking my path now
so please dont intercept
it may be harsh when we meet again

on my way i wont cry
for i have found a meaning in life
so ponder upon this what happened

and on my way i hope
you find yours too
so i'll be on my way now, hope you do too

before i close my eyes

before i shun my eyes to sleep
i want to share this thing i keep

a burden for some they say it is
and for some a grasp of reality they kiss

nobody can tell us how to live our life
we can either live it or kill it with a blunt knife

people are people they change when they need to
they're just waiting for a time for them to do

today i saw myself again
into another man's dilemma my friend

when you lose the meaning of going on
you lose the meaning of life itself, in the air it's blown

....[]

if***

they say that almost all the questions have answers, some questions are answered by questions, a few questions are intended as an answer to a question that has not been raised yet, but a question that never ends is if.....

some look for answers due to heartache
some for clarification
others are simply for emphasis...

but what if....
this questions are just a momentary pause for where we are and where were going
what if....
we are but another existence to be vanquished
what if...
yes
what if...
the question that never ends

so do i...
i have this if...

if i change
would you accept,
if i turn into someone you hate
would you still be there
if i fall
will i find you in the bottom of the hole
if i mock you
would you still talk to me
if i defy you
would you hate me
if i curse you
would you wish good things for me
if i leave you
would you go anywhere
if i came back
would i still find you there
if i hurt you
would you still be my beacon of light
if i lie to you
can you still trust me
if i disappear
would you miss me
if i suddenly show up
would you greet me and say goodbye
if i continue to hurt
would you continue hearing me out
if i drive you away
would you stay
if i say i love you more than myself
would you take advantage of my weakness
if i'm lost for words
would you dare fill the empty space in between
if...
only if...
if i were there
would you be beside me
if i were your neighbor
would we be more than friends
if i were just a stranger
(the fact that i am)
would you still talk to me
if i were your classmate
would you even notice me
if,..
if....
well it's not...so live with it.

dirtbag

those words did hurt
i took them all
i've waited for you
you never looked back
now you're on your own
i'm walking my road
you made a detour
you wanted to clear things out
all i left are my footprints of yesterday
you blame me for not staying
but you told me not to
you confuse me
i keep playing your game
i asked why you did
and you told me nothing
till now....

hear what you say before you point your dirty finger at me.....or at least just wash them first

less is more

Ludwig Mies van der Rohe
Buckminster Fuller
minimalism, the architectural design that inspired me, somehow, it captures your attention, beauty for less, form follows function....

summer

i long for the summer breeze, the feeling of the air hitting my face, summer, beach, ocean, star gazing, sand on my feet, the cool relaxing momento..yea...pretty much summer for everyone...

but nope, my summer is filled with thrilling residential designs, crazy obsession with research, and most of all sadistic instructors :| yea, summer huh,..pretty much everything i wait for...and my dad...nope not going to talk to him when i find it uninteresting...

yes really

i dont believe in forever

but i believe that we make choices

i don't believe in second chances
but i believe in change

i don't believe in coincidences
but i do believe in fate

i don't believe in death
but i do believe it's just a transition

i don't believe in the world of lies
for if people have their own opinion, then it's the truth

i don't believe in most of things
but i do believe in what people do

i don't believe that promises are meant to be broken
because if i can keep them then so can others

i don't believe there are gray areas
but i do believe in black and white

i don't believe that what people show is them fully
but i do believe everyone has their own soft sides...

optimism

i turned my head to the east
i saw the sunshine
turned my head to the west
i saw the reflection of its magnificence
looked down to the ground
my feet are still on steady ground
i looked up
closed my eyes

.....and said

happy enough to wake up every morning, feeling every inch of reality a pinch of which that makes me feel alive and once more thank you....

blend it

blue....they usually think its blue
but its not

there's a big difference
and it Is'nt green

it's TEAL!!!

DEAD AND GONE

Been traveling all alone

In this world we know

I look at peoples faces

Yet all of them seem unknown

I turned by my side

Saw nothing but my shadow

Turned my head behind

Saw nothing else but my past

I thought I was not alone

But I guess I always was

Walked in the old ally I’ve been to

But everything seem so new

People calling my name

But they never know me

People saying stuff

But they will never understand

I’ve been shun for many times

I’ve changed a lot since then

Walking on the same road

But with a different character

The old me is dead and gone

I’m going to face the world again

But this time I’m different

The old me won’t come back

I’ve buried my issues deep down

Never going to look back

The old me is dead and gone

Nobody would look for anyway

Been walking for ages

Yet everything seem different

Nothing stayed the same

Not even the ones I thought I knew

Colour’s of different people

Fading into one

From the rainbow pass

It’s now dull Gray

As of now

The old me is dead and gone

I’ve started out my life again

A life I never knew I’d have

words of silence

I was walking down the aisle

When I saw this little girl

She looked at me in the eye

And I asked why

Eyes fired up with passion

A passion I don’t know

Either anger or distress

Or maybe for another

She answered me simply

With a grin on her face

Slowly uttering words

And it came past my ear

It was silence that I heard

Not even a resonance after

Simply silence from her mouth

Not peace if you consider

On my way home

All I can remember was her

The dull look on her doll face

And those silent uttered words

I rest my head wondering

What it was she meant

The silence kills my spirit

For I’ve never heard it before

That was the sound of silence

From a little girl

A girl from my past

Who followed me here

I’ve never heard that silence

For it never meant peace

All it brought was misery

From a little girl troubled before

That little girl wants her father

But she can never have

For the past cannot be fixed

Due to his imprudent act

This little girl was shun to darkness

For everyone left her alone

No one came to rescue

When this little girl needed the most

All she can do is stay aside

For she doesn’t know what she’s worth

She doesn’t know her purpose

Or why she’s burdened so

When you look into her eyes

All you’ll see is emptiness

For this little girl never found

A spark in her life

I looked into her eyes

Trying to share what I have inside

Even though I went through the same

The silence that she brought was incomparable

The misery she holds

Is wrapped into her very soul

All those years

She waited, but no father came

All she wanted was a dad

For I know what it felt

A father figure they say

Even though you know you wont have it

That little girl I saw

Uttered the words of silence

Its not peace she gives

But trouble you’ll see in her eyes

I was once alone

Even with family around

I asked my mom why dad left

All she can answer is I don’t know

Now he’s coming home

I’m going to ask why

We’re not that bad of a family

But why did he leave and said goodbye

They say we should stick together

But I can’t

It’s simply because I’ll never find

The peace within my soul

Just like that little girl

Who envy’s her friends for having their dad’s

Just like that little girl

Left out for the silent past

requiem bloodymare

little me

my life, my world, my passion,....architecture, the mother of all arts, when you think you have it all, wait till someone breaks your heart, then paranoia sinks in, next to which is doubt, the doubt if you'll even find yourself again, the doubt if everything was real, the doubt "if your real".

everyone seeks to have a purpose in his/her life, i myself says that life can be lived without any purpose at all, but i guess we all do have our own, we might not realize it soon enough, but yes, we do have our very own purpose, the purpose to simply see every sunrise, the purpose to talk to someone, the purpose to smell the bitter sweet breeze of life, as for me when i thought i lost it all, i looked down on the corner of my room and saw this little fiber glass and beside it is a little "staedtler" pencil......

wiping off my tears i picked them up and begun polishing my t-square, i said to myself, if nobody would love me, even if i give out my unconditional love to them, i'd live with my passion......art, even if nothingness does exist i'll make the most of it, even if i fail at life and in my works, i'd make it my company through thick or thin, for if no one can love me unconditionally i'd have to assume that this t-square is all or nothing.

alas, i made my own world, made my own companion, and i found my own calling, a purpose not for everyone, but a purpose for someone to realize how many things i missed out when i was looking far, this is a purpose for someone who doesnt find anything valuable in life to be spaired, this is me, i can love unconditionally and relentlessly but if forsaken i can take it all away.

guardian

lying on my bed, grasping for the sheets of thy cradle, i turned the other cheek and hold my pillow close to me, slowly closing my eyes but there are too many things running through my head, the voice seems to echo in my very ear.

i hate you....

i'll never talk to you again....

goodbye....

i asked myself, what if?...what if i didn't say those things, what if i didn't come near, now all that's left is for me to grind my own teeth and feel deep remorse for what i've done, was it wrong?, was it wrong to be happy?, and i close my eyes and hope that everything would all go away.

in my deep sleep, i awaken half dead and alive, i was in my dream, separating from my body, i stood up looked around, wandered and i heard a sound, footsteps coming closer and closer......thoughts begun to spur, who is it?, what does he want?, what is going to happen?, i peeked outside the door, i saw a vague figure going up the stair case.....

my dear, my dear
don't fret
i'm gonna end your suffering
i'm going to take your pain away
let me help you with your troubles
don't hide from me my dear
for i will comfort you
and give you your answers.

i looked at him with fear and doubt, stood up and climbed my window sill, i looked down at the empty space, seeing nothing but darkness, not a pindrop can be heard...[]

.....[]

i looked back at him, he shot me in the heart, i felt empty i didn't feel pain, not a single glitch of nervous reaction, i held my hand in my chest wondering if it was real, i saw blood, therefore it was real....

i fell into the dark, fell so deep down, i was waiting for my death, yes, death for i fell from my window sill, i waited and waited, but nothing, and then.....bam......i crashed into this bus, and i opened my eyes, i saw chaos, i saw nothing but chaos, even my mind is in chaos for i dont know what is happening around me, for i dont know why i am still able to walk, but the point there is, why am i still alive, or am i?.....

i stood up and suddenly heard someone fell from the sky, it was him, the very person i was running away from, i dont even know why i am running away from him, even though he assured me of this so called security, but i wasn't assured of him, so when i saw him fall, i started running, but it seems like im too slow.....

oh why, oh why am i left for this horrible place, why me
what do you want from me?, can't you just let me go

priceless

I sell my love for money

Yes I do sell what I write

And I do find it funny

Because what I write is a part of me

And now I write

To my own contempt

To share my enticement to you

I write with a purpose

A purpose not to scum

But to show my interest

Such decision was caused

For I can’t hide no longer

At first I am weary

I can’t give my heart to anybody

I’ve had enough to bear

And I’ve learned that love is rear

But in this one I write

Enveloped by my care

Through and through with flashy words

I’ll make it simple to be easily heard

This is who I am

Accept me for what I can offer

I sell my love for money

For my love is what I write

And now I share to you my writings

And I give you a part of me

A part a few have seen

For I keep it deep within

Such poetry and drama

Most of them can’t handle for their trauma

I have been through what not

But I write as if I’ve experienced all the rest

I only interest a few

For I can shun many to be true

I make stupid decisions

And I say inappropriate things

But I share a part of me

In this I write to you from me

Indeed it’s not hard to grasp

That I am dearly attached to you

This I write not for profit

But for my purpose have extended

Now I find my way

I’m not stuck on darkness as they say

a dear friend

I sought knowledge from a person far from me,
I needed a mind that is free,
I needed an opinion beyond my understanding,
And I needed someone that is worth believing.

I listened hard and listened well
Now it’s my time to go out of my shell
Though my mind has been wondering far
And my common principles are at war.

I sought to be relieved from my troubles
But my weariness and discomfort shows
From this identity I seek
I seem to grow more and more mimic

I minuscule this undertaking
But soon enough I started breaking
I lost everything I have in the gamble
And I learned one good thing, to be humble

In this new leaf I turn
My old self I realized I had to burn
My path is far yet to be finished
So my heathen ways are slowly diminished

I have learned about life and more
Far from what I understood before
My mentors are life and death itself
My friends and the books in my shelf

I have earned an incomparable experience
And I am astonished to my deliverance
The greatest gift I ever had
Are friends and life and that’s all I have

I thank thee for the hand
For without yours I don’t know where I’d land
You showed me to be strong and just
And gave a new meaning to the word trust

You opened my eyes to what was real
And made me express what I really feel
I could not ask for more
Having you, I’m better to what I was before

Every time I look back
All I can do is laugh and sit back
I smile for I can remember you
A person who influenced me to be true

I write to say what you mean to me
And reminisce how great a friendship can be
Well shit happens as they say
And fate knows how to play

I found great happiness just talking to you
You don’t bore me, that am sure is true
Even if you don’t know me well
You’re my best friend for real

You are there even if I bug you
And when I feel blue
I don’t know if I had ever been a help for you
Sorry I’m on the other side of the world from you

Among the people that surrounds me
You’re the one that placed sense into me
I wish you good health and happiness
And I wish you all the best

All of us have our own calling
Being alone for you isn’t your true calling
Sometimes the happiness brought by someone
Is the best feeling we’ll have, you’ll have fun

You’re right to say people hurt people
People don’t love unconditionally and it’s simple
But when you realize you were happy with the wrong one
What more if you’re with the right one.

Don’t ever think your alone all the time
Your family’s there and me here all the time
It’s true we need our time alone
In time of help I’ll be here reminding you you’re not alone

hurts the most

Each day I think about us

Thinking bout us

When I think about us together

I remember what we were

We don’t know where were going

Don’t know where were ending

Always unknowing

Wondering where we’ll end up

And I wonder….

Am I gonna lose you

Can I still hold you

Hoping to hug you

Cos Im missing you

Yes I miss you

Every morning I wake up

Thinking about you

Hoping you’re here

Cos dear I am hurting

Hurting without you

the tragedy

eyes look drenched in fear

slumber stare at the empty space

pre-occupied by event coming near

wondering if he’ll show his face

amused with his mortal limits

and remembering everything so vivid

all was in place, pieces and bits

and he paused for a while, looking timid

he made his very own

a world he lives in, nothings a fraud

but he sure was alone

for the silence became loud

he wondered in his ally

walking pass through memory lane

remembering faces so many

but everyone treated him so vane

wind blowing so soft

the chimes collide making such noise

picked up his stencil and begun to draft

an image he remembered by his choice

an eye, a mouth and more

slowly forming a figure

then pain struck his heart all the more

a monster his draft ended up so blur

he put down his stencil

walking towards his cot

he laid down wishing to end his peril

for his loved one he lost in person and thought

tears rolled down his face

closed his eyes but all the more it went

ended up in his pillow case

asking himself, if it was all meant

all he wanted was to touch her hand

to be with her forever

but it all ended and this is where it lands

swallowed up by his love fever

he can never be with her

for she is long gone

mortality is the end, harsh and tender

of the love that has grown

they can never be together

for she died in his arms

and he wont get any better

if he does, it wont set off the alarms

they will never be together

all his promises gone

guess his love wasn’t forever

when he put the bullet through her heart she shun

a tragedy for their love it is

he never wanted it this way

now he has lost everything, his bliss

look at him today

he wondered outside the bars

grinning as if he has lost it

people staring back, smiling over that farce

what a fool they say he made himself an “it”

oh what has befallen you old man

a sin so harsh it kills your soul

there’s no one to blame, he’s a madman

for he put in his heart a big black hole

the judgment day has come

and his will be hung

guilty he is to all not to some

he smelled fear reaching through his lung

the fear it stabbed his heart

remorse consumes his thought

everything seems so senseless of some sort

for all is gone, he didn’t even fought

he cried to the crowd

his last cry he wanted to be heard

he shouted out loud

murder it was, but I love her, it was absurd

“she is my life and my all

I am nothing without her

Take my life for all

For I’m now useless without her”

His face was covered black

And grasping for his breath

The Pilate placed down the sack

And there his life was taken till his last breath

A girl said to her mom

Poor guy, didn’t get the chance for salvation

“I don’t know where he’s from

But it is painful to lose your love for your own satisfaction”

Tragedy it is that befall this man

He took the life from his love

In his own hands none other man

Is he down below or up above

Tragedy it is for those who lost theirs

For nothing can be more hurting

Not even a man with an affair

Nothing hurts than to lose the one you love as I was saying.

Sleep well old man

Far from your love’s grave

For you are a man

To face the judgement and not to be save.

[When dreams are wrecked

Destroyed by your own hands

Have no pity on yourself

For you have done what not…… ]

now all that's left for the town

is a story of a man who loved and lived

who by his own love he drowned

and death was conceived