what i have become

there are a lot of things i failed to realize
some parts of life i thought i should memorize
but on the question of who i am
and what i am
that i cannot answer
so i chose to stay on one corner
and i tried to reconcile to myself what i should be doing with my life
i smiled and looked up.....[tbc]

deep blue

whenever i try and forget
i always end up feeling regret
all ends i try to meet
yet in the end i find my defeat

my heart yearns for you my love
but my mind has no chemsitry to solve
i thought we'd be together forever
but my fear has gotten me while im sober

i think about you on the side of my bed
your all that's running through my heart and head
it didnt took me the whole century to realize
on how much you have me mesmerized

i'll try and be strong for a while
maybe we'll get farther for more than a mile
who knows if this is good or bad
just dont feel that sad

whenever i try to blend
and for this heartache to mend
your face is reflected in every side
i wish one day we'd collide

my feelings for you are like the ocean
so deep and blue and is in constant motion
it never stays stagnant and boring
for you complete me reassuring

but if this love i feel is real
i'd be back with my goal to seal
and by then you'll have my heart
my first beloved sweetheart

-DCBT/17'09

just a thought

when i thought all was lost
i was yet to find another meaning
and here i am
surrounded by what i thought i never had
i couldnt thank people enough for what they've done
i couldnt thank people enough for what they've given me
i realized a whole new setting after three rainfalls
the rainbow's always gonna find its way through the drizzle and the sun
i couldnt thank my love enough for what he's done
and i couldnt thank my friends enough for always being there
but most of all
i couldnt thank the people who said stuff that might've brought me down a little
but that little misfortune turned out to be so great in helping me realize something

when the sunshines on my face
i thank you
for you made me feel alive again

everyday i wonder why people need to respond
to the word i love you
when in the first place it isnt a question
so i never fail to see how much u do
without uttering those words
you say i love you
and yet you ask nothing in return
you make me feel you're there
even if you're far away
you made me say i need you
yet i am on my own
i can stand alone
but you know my weakness

just a thought i saved everyday
it goes unsaid
but it means a lot
i am here when you need me the most
and yet i am here even if you dont
because that's how you we're with me
even if you don't say nor make me feel that you do
i care for you
more than anything nor anyone in this world

shallow

i know im a kid
i make rash decisions
sometimes i make decisions for the heck of it
he says im bitter
i know im not
mad maybe
but thats the point
i took all my strength to release it
and now im no longer mad
:3 im so fresh, well i never want to be mad
i made this post
to bring out what i feel
well what do i feel
i feel love
anger has passed
i feel happy
yea the smile doesnt fade away easily
i feel sad
cos the rain wont stop
i feel jumpy
cos im moslty hyper
and i know im crazy
CRAZY is what comprises me
:3 and my loveydovey loves me when im crazy

take a pause

when they world seems to fall on you
and when it seemed like it stopped just to judge you
take a pause
there's no better time to do that than now
just be real
show what you feel
never hide
even if tears go down the side
just take a pause
and think what you really want
have some cup of coffee or perhaps some tea
yes a pause will do
and then when you're done pondering
have a smile
it'll brighten up your day
a pause will do just once in a while
dont be hard on yourself like i used to be
but all it takes is just a pause
to think back on what you may have done
but never regret that you've done them
and this pause will make you realize you've done more than what you can
so take your time
if someone's pushing you down
just back out
and then get a grip then go back to the road again
a pause may do a lot of things
don't forget to always pray
pray that you'd be guided on what you think you can still change, and that youll have the knowledge to know what is it that you can't
a pause is enough to enlighten you
so have one
and have a time on your own
besides
shit happens, but other stuff is also going on
so pause for a while to ponder upon everything that burdens you
but never let it crush you for this reflection will help you

-moogle your my friend, i may not always be around to comfort you, but whenever your sad dont be so down, there's always a way out, and if there's none....then its not yours to carry =]

but all i can do is admire

i admire the blind
for they see beyond what i do
i admire the deaf
for they hear no lies
i admire the mute
for they may feel pain but they are able to keep it all in
i admire the wasted
for they have nothing to worry about

but all i can do is admire

for i am me
and this is where i am
i placed myself in this pedestal
i have to face it everyday
i may not see beyond the usual
but i know that i can help those who cannot see the obvious
i may hear lies, pretends, and great distress
but im not gonna run away from them, i'll be able to do my best to distinguish the necessary evil
i may speak, swear, curse and complain
but i have character to be understanding and forgiving
i do admire them
cos that's all i can do for now.