i still care

this isnt about me, not about the past
im writing cos i care
im writing cos you have been, become, is...a part of me
im writing cos i'm worried
i'm hoping you'll be better soon
nothing really important
just conveying a message
since it's been long
pretty long time that we've talked
since the last time we conversed
i know your job is a risk
but please just take care
i ask nothing more but for your safety
a part of me is left with you
i care about you
i miss you
til the next time we see each other...

TOMMYPISH

hey guess what tommy hans vikman ....your freaken old xDDD LOL omgawh i cant believe i missed that well cheah here it is now right, well wishing you the best of life, have a taste of its different variety, be better never grow bitter cos that's how we roll LOL...
your like my first e-bud, yea doing all sorts of shit together :P evil much, putting that aside continue following your heart, stay true and keep it real, the world needs more people like you...and your freaken coconut tree, yea you can have all the coconut trees around the beach house i stayed in xDD LOL

a simple guy

with a simple wish to go by

be happy

live life fully

when you'll need a shoulder

whenever your gonna falter

always remember

friends are there

all you gotta do

is call on them then you wont feel blue

your a good person

hence there is no need for reason

it's easy to be your friend

so to you i'll lend a hand

you make everything easy

just talking to you, even if your busy

as you toss your fate into things you do

bartending, recording and everything else new

we your friends we'll always be here

cos you tommypish for us is dear

blah blah blah yea yea cheezy i know right D: thats cos im so ghey xDD LOL hope you enjoy so cheah HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN TOMMY =D

behind

im left behind unable to grasp things fast with the phase, and i wonder
left wondering......what if

i know i have the will to
but the circumstances wont allow
as far as i can analyze the situtation
things are out of my leage at this time
my opinion wont matter
my feelings wont affect anything
and my decision wont change the scenario
did i even matter at all
you said those words
they were blown away by the slight change of the wind
what happened
you dont have to answer
i understand
you dont have to ponder
i have accepted everything
even before you said let go
i realized something was wrong
i dont push people away for no reason
im not numb
i can feel
and i know we were drifting
and i wanted to see if you'd stick around
i guess not all of us are that strong
im aware of my flaws
somehow your thought about me is that im ideal
from the very beginning i told you i wasnt
i made it clear that it's better to stay away
now look at what you've done
you made me feel again and i broke your heart
im sorry
if i made you doubt and think about what you got into
im sorry
im not good enough for you

i wish you all the good things in life, your a good person you deserve someone better and we both know that, hope you wont be a stranger.

my remorse

this is the part where i say what i feel, the part where i say something that may or may not change the decision of the only person that i felt complete with, this contains all my honest thoughts and regards.

i know nobody's perfect, we crash once in a while, the tension breaks us apart, the distance does matter even if we say it doesnt, at times we do things that hurt other people even those that we care just to prove that we are alive, even the people who claims to be happy and content do need to find ways to prove themselves that they are alive, and as for me, it is to feel the pain of losing someone that i do prove myself that i love them and that they are most dear to me, sometimes i try to pick myself up from the mischief's i caused, trying to put it back together, wishing that it'll be alright even if i know it wont be, and right now i know im near my breaking point, inka tells me to be strong and so does my other friends, tom says i should take care, but i dont know, the fact that at times i just stay in a corner and cry, yea i cry a lot cos im a cry baby, means that it does affect me so much, what i just want to know in the current situation is that, was it all a dream, i just wish i never woke up, was it all just for show, all of those words trying to give me a sign that i am better off alone, where am i without the light, where am i without my guide, where am i without the wall i cling on to whenever the lights go off, im nowhere, im a nobody, trying to be strong and just hoping that somehow all of it was real, i dont know what will happen after his decision, if he stays with me, im lucky enough to have him still, if he doesnt then im still happy to have someone so beautiful and so sweet cross my path, you have been strong for the both of us, im trying to be strong for me, somehow trying to be strong to stay focused, yea im that selfish, im an ass most of the time and i am aware of it, but somehow you putting up with me only means you have accepted me, but i guess im just too stubborn for anyone to handle.

this is how much i love you, i thought the pain from before was too much, but this time i know it'll surely put me into seclusion, i dont want to be your friend, i love you too much to even accept your friendship, somehow, the silence do kill my soul, when is the right time, i know this may sound rash but, a reflection overnight isnt a joke, one night and dear i missed you, and you say its "only" been days, its been 4 long days and in that duration, i dont know my limitation anymore, i know im patient but im not that strong, i can wait, but maybe when your back if you ever come back, im once again broken, but.....


your the only person who can bring me back again, you know where to find me, i love you even more, i love you like a compliment of the day and night, i love you like water of the sea trying to conquer the sandy beach inch by inch, i love you more everytime i wake up, and more everytime i cry, i love you more compared to the first love i had, i love you more than words can say, i need you, i want you, i just hope youre mine.....

all is done

i remember the time when i was crying
you told me to stop cos its pointless to
i remember the time when i was down and all
you picked me up and told me to hang on
i remember the time that i had nobody to talk to
you turned to me and said "im here"
i remember the time when everything seemed gray
you grabbed your brush and painted it w/ the shade of the rainbow
i remember the time that i was in trouble
you made me realize that there is always a way
i remember the time that almost all is lost
you shined so bright in my darkest days
i remember the time that i sang to you
you smiled and sung to me too
i remember the time when it was cold
you somehow reached out and shared your warmth
i remember the time when i had too much in my head
i got so pissed and stubborn
you told me its okay not to be always okay
i remember that certain time when i was pushing away
you hold on to me even if i said let go

.....but this time i wont forget
i told you to forget bout me
but your still there